This is one of the hardest holidays for me, in 1980 on Memorial Day...I slept later than normal, I was completely exhausted. I had identical twin boys that were three months and one day old, on the 26th of May, in 1980...it was Memorial Day.
I woke up suddenly and realized it was daylight, I sat bolt upright because I was normally up tending the babies several times during the night, and I slept through it all. My oldest son who was not even two yet...didn't wake me up, I didn't hear but one baby fussing, I hurried to the end of the hall and started tending to the first baby, it was Mitchell. I changed his diaper and as wet as he was, I thought it would be good to go ahead and change Michaels diaper too and get them both fed since they didn't have a bottle during the night. Their cribs were end to end against one wall.
Micheal was not fussing at all, I turned him over to change him and his lips were dark blue, his eyes glazed over and unblinking. I screamed and my husband came running down the hall...He carried Micheal to the living room and started CPR, I could tell him things to try but, I could not move from his side. He had to tell me to call an abulance. I ran to the phone to call 911. The fire rescue was only a block away and they made it to the house in minutes. I knew when I saw him that he was probably dead, but we tried to save him anyway. The paramedics tried to get a heartbeat and get him breathing and rushed him to the hospital ahead of us. We threw on clothes, grabbed the diaper bag and the boys and took off for the hospital as fast as we could. I remember my husband at the time telling me to make sure and bring clothes for Micheal, because he WAS coming home. When we arrived at the hospital everything seemed like a blur, I vaguely remember them telling us that he had a heartbeat but could not get him breathing on his own and he went into cardiac arrest and died...they had to do an autopsy and because he died at the hospital, we would be investigated, it was routine.
I was just numb, in shock. Blamed myself for sleeping through the night, not feeding them that night. I had taken the twins for a checkup the day before and they got a clean bill of health and their first set of shots. How could this just happen like this? They called it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or S.I.D.S.
I think that any parent would blame themselves in the death of their child when it happened so suddenly. Micheal had bruises on his legs from getting stuck between the side bars on the crib and the mattress too. I had been in the hospital for almost a month and was not prepared for the twins to be born so early. I was put into a ward room that had six beds when they admitted me on Valentine's Day. I am fairly tall at five foot eight, I was heavy with child and each time I went for a checkup they tried to send me to labor and delivery, I was huge...but I had to explain about the twins growing inside me. Anyway, I had several roommates while I was there at the hospital. I was offered used cribs from two girls that had an extra one. So at least the babies had a place to sleep when we took them home...one of the mattresses did not fit well in the crib, there was a space and after Micheal had fallen between the mattress and the bars and got stuck one night, I had stuffed a sleeping bag down in the space to keep it from happening again.
My sister-in-law and her son were living with us, as was my mother-in-law and her husband. This was a in a two bedroom house mind you...I had told them they would all need to find an apartment or something before I brought the babies home. It was not a bad sized house, it had a formal dining room, a breakfast room, a large eat in sized kitchen and a sun porch in addition to the two bedrooms and living room. But it only had one bathroom. I got stuck in the hospital early because the doctor was worried about me not getting the rest I needed, He had told me I was to lay flat on my back and the only time I could get up was to go to the bathroom. Tell me, how could I do that when I had a toddler, his cousin wasn't even three yet and I was the one they came to when they were hungry? It was difficult for me to do much of anything as big as I was at seven and a half months into my pregnancy...I had to turn sideways at the kitchen sink to even reach the faucet, the counter was very low in this house...if I tried to reach the faucet facing towards the front, my big belly got in the way and I could not touch it.
I am sorry, trying to explain a little of the situation at the time. My husband was working nights and his sister worked during the day, and my mother-in-law was suppose to be tending to the children but she didn't usually get out of bed until 9 or 10...so, I would get up and get breakfast for the boys and usually do the dishes...or try to. The day I was admitted to the hospital my father-in-law was in a car accident, he actually was in the hospital a day or two longer than I was, I don't remember all of his injuries, but he did have a broken leg and was in a cast from his toes to midway up his thigh when he came back to the house. My Mother-in-law, who was suppose to be watching the boys spent most of her time at the hospital with her husband instead. I am not sure how things were going at the house during the time I was in the hospital. I was not happy when I came home though, I didn't get to bring my babies home, my Mother-in-law had gone through all of my things, stripped my bed of my new sheets and bedspread and they were on her bed and was wearing my clothes! You talk about pissed off...and they had not moved out yet!
It was not a good time in my life. It was also my first experience with death. I had never been to a funeral and I was being investigated for the death of my child and having to try and make funeral and burial arrangements for the first time and I was barely 21 years old. I kept dreaming about different scenarios, maybe what we could have done differently, how we could have helped Micheal differently, dreaming that he actually came home from the hospital that day. It was tough, I drank a lot the first few days after it happened...I wanted to numb the pain of his death and all that was chaotic in my world at the time. It is hard not to think about everything that happened that Memorial Day, it rushes back at me even after all this time. I think it would have killed me too, if it had not been for Mitchell, Micheals twin brother. I snapped out of it for him and Jeremy's sakes. It was three months and one day after the twins were born that Micheal passed away. I went through counseling after it happened, my husband did not...I think he may have blamed me or maybe himself for Micheals death, I am not sure...he never talked about it.
I hope you have better Memorial Day memories than I. It has a different meaning to me than most people. I lost a son, but gained a Gardian Angel and he has watched over us ever since then. I have asked him to watch over and protect his brothers on numerous occasions. They both spent time or are spending time in the Military. Mitchell spent almost two years fighting the war in the war in Iraq, and I think Micheal kept him safe from bodily harm and brought him home to me in one piece physically. War is hard on everyone who is involved...don't forget the families of our fallen. Memorial Day is a day of remembrance, let us not forget those who sacrificed their lives fighting for our freedom and to keep us that way.
I am sorry if my writing is fragmented sometimes or seems strange, my life has not been an easy one, parts of it I rather just block out and forget...but not anything having to do with my kids.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Garden Is Planted, Let It Rain!
It took me awhile, but I finally got my garden planted. It is not big enough, so I will have to till a bit more or do a raised bed for strawberries and herbs. I have some things in pots too. I do have tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, corn, green beans and water melons planted...so if nothing else, at least we will have some stuff. I looked on all my fruit trees and have very little fruit on most of them, that late freeze after they started blooming damaged the fruiting process...except for the older peach trees there are quite a few peaches on the peach bush we have...lol, yes a huge peach bush. I am guessing it died back, was cut down and came back from the stump...lots of trunks and it looks like a huge bush. There is a red bud bush too.
I did get a gate built and chicken wire around the fencing I put up to keep the rabbits out of the garden too. So far, none of the chickens have gotten into the area and the turkeys have gone on the outside perimeter of the fence, but I left a good distance around it so that if they ran the fence, they would not be very close to the street. I am worried about another one of my turkeys getting hurt when they jump the fence. I want to eventually put a fence down the property line to keep the wild dogs and coyotes further away. I saw something pretty big digging around my compost pile the other night, it had a bushy tail and looked like a dog or coyote. I wouldn't have seen it, but my dogs were in the backyard and were barking at it...and I walked out a little way and saw it, it was dark but it was a light color what ever it was. I went and got my husband and he got the pellet gun, but it disappeared before he saw it.
The Dewberries have been ripening and I have picked a couple gallon zip lock bags full, with all the rain we have had, some of them are quite large. I saw that the Chicasaw plums were ripening some too. Not a real good crop this year, but maybe I can make some jelly enough for us for the year. I just have to get out there and pick them soon, before the birds get them all. But, we are suppose to get rain all week long though...so who knows...last year they all exploded and fell off because of so much rain.
I got my first batch of chicks out to the Side Car...grow out pen and moved chicks on the back porch around. I have another brooder to clean out and then I can move some more from inside the house to the back porch. My hurt turkey is now back out in the yard, she just had one tiny scab left and I am gonna cross my fingers and hope she doesn't get injured again...her side has no feathers under her wing. I need to get some roosters off of the porch too, but I had to remove the tarp off of the pens they use to be in...it ripped down the middle and didn't keep rain out any more. I am tired of having 11 roosters on my back porch...they are loud, but pretty good at alerting me to things going on outside. I moved the three baby ducks to the porch too, it was getting rather warm in my he feed shed...so they are in a five foot wide kiddie pool with cage wire wrapped around the sides so they can't get out of it. I would love to get everything off of the porch, but with so much rain and as chilly as today was, it won't happen any time soon. I still have to have heat lamps on the little ones and don't have electricity out in the yard.
I filled my incubators up again with eggs, but this will probably be the last hatch until I get a lot of things done. I have building to do still, my breeding pens are still not made yet and I gotta get them built. I have a house full of chicks to grow up and three weeks until the next batch starts hatching. I hope to sell some of these birds, I have turkeys and geese to sell and some older chicks now...and I still have a bunch of broody poultry, although I am not sure the geese will actually hatch anything, the chickens are eating eggs and my broody duck keeps moving her nest every day. I am guessing I won't get too many babies out of them. But time will tell.
I did get a gate built and chicken wire around the fencing I put up to keep the rabbits out of the garden too. So far, none of the chickens have gotten into the area and the turkeys have gone on the outside perimeter of the fence, but I left a good distance around it so that if they ran the fence, they would not be very close to the street. I am worried about another one of my turkeys getting hurt when they jump the fence. I want to eventually put a fence down the property line to keep the wild dogs and coyotes further away. I saw something pretty big digging around my compost pile the other night, it had a bushy tail and looked like a dog or coyote. I wouldn't have seen it, but my dogs were in the backyard and were barking at it...and I walked out a little way and saw it, it was dark but it was a light color what ever it was. I went and got my husband and he got the pellet gun, but it disappeared before he saw it.
The Dewberries have been ripening and I have picked a couple gallon zip lock bags full, with all the rain we have had, some of them are quite large. I saw that the Chicasaw plums were ripening some too. Not a real good crop this year, but maybe I can make some jelly enough for us for the year. I just have to get out there and pick them soon, before the birds get them all. But, we are suppose to get rain all week long though...so who knows...last year they all exploded and fell off because of so much rain.
I got my first batch of chicks out to the Side Car...grow out pen and moved chicks on the back porch around. I have another brooder to clean out and then I can move some more from inside the house to the back porch. My hurt turkey is now back out in the yard, she just had one tiny scab left and I am gonna cross my fingers and hope she doesn't get injured again...her side has no feathers under her wing. I need to get some roosters off of the porch too, but I had to remove the tarp off of the pens they use to be in...it ripped down the middle and didn't keep rain out any more. I am tired of having 11 roosters on my back porch...they are loud, but pretty good at alerting me to things going on outside. I moved the three baby ducks to the porch too, it was getting rather warm in my he feed shed...so they are in a five foot wide kiddie pool with cage wire wrapped around the sides so they can't get out of it. I would love to get everything off of the porch, but with so much rain and as chilly as today was, it won't happen any time soon. I still have to have heat lamps on the little ones and don't have electricity out in the yard.
I filled my incubators up again with eggs, but this will probably be the last hatch until I get a lot of things done. I have building to do still, my breeding pens are still not made yet and I gotta get them built. I have a house full of chicks to grow up and three weeks until the next batch starts hatching. I hope to sell some of these birds, I have turkeys and geese to sell and some older chicks now...and I still have a bunch of broody poultry, although I am not sure the geese will actually hatch anything, the chickens are eating eggs and my broody duck keeps moving her nest every day. I am guessing I won't get too many babies out of them. But time will tell.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Babies Everywhere!
My broody hens have been hatching babies here and there, I have incubated more eggs and have chicks, a goose and turkeys in the house brooders and ducks in the feed room brooder, plus brooders on my back porch. I still have a lot of broody hens, a broody duck and a broody goose too. The goose and ducks are my first broodies of waterfowl, I keep waiting for a turkey to go broody next.
I have babies hatching in one incubator, maybe four goose eggs will hatch around the 12th of May and trying again with some Ancona duck eggs which should hatch about the same time. I gave my broody duck new eggs...I had given her eggs but she kicked the ones I gave her out of the nest and laid her own. Apparently none of them were fertile...she kicked the last one out of the nest yesterday. She was very happy this time to have eggs, I gave her 8 and she tucked them under her as fast as I gave them to her. I have had such bad luck hatching goose eggs this year, I was glad to see one of my females go broody. I am not sure she will have any hatch either, but she has quite a few under her...she is taking the other two females eggs too. We go into the coop and give her food and water and sometimes all three females are grouped together and they sleep with the broody at night.
I am happy to say I have been successful hatching my turkey eggs, I love the little chirpy sounds they make. I have about 8 turkey poults at the moment, one that looks different, I want to keep. This one looked almost black when it hatched. It has lightened up slightly but has very dark eyes and dark legs too. I guess it is a genetic mutation...I want to see what it will look like when it gets all of its feathers. Bad thing is happening with my female turkeys, they are laying eggs outside of the fence, one of them was injured and it looked like two possible dog bites, she had two holes in her side under her wing and has been on my porch for weeks, she is healing well, but still has a way to go. Another turkey hen laid a clutch of 15 eggs under the stairs of my shed, but she had dug a depression and we received five inches of rain before I found them...I thought it best to toss all of them. She has decided to lay elsewhere and I am worried she may get attacked by the dogs next door too.
I stay busy, cleaning, taking care of babies, broodies and house chores...and got my garden planted finely. The wild dewberries are ripening and I pick them when I have the chance, and picked my first blueberries yesterday. I have four grapevines that flowered this year so that is good...just 6 more to go! We had late freezes so I don't have much fruit on my trees, except maybe peaches...and I need to spray some Neem Oil or Dormant Oil on them.
I started my breeding pens...so, yeah just busy.
I have babies hatching in one incubator, maybe four goose eggs will hatch around the 12th of May and trying again with some Ancona duck eggs which should hatch about the same time. I gave my broody duck new eggs...I had given her eggs but she kicked the ones I gave her out of the nest and laid her own. Apparently none of them were fertile...she kicked the last one out of the nest yesterday. She was very happy this time to have eggs, I gave her 8 and she tucked them under her as fast as I gave them to her. I have had such bad luck hatching goose eggs this year, I was glad to see one of my females go broody. I am not sure she will have any hatch either, but she has quite a few under her...she is taking the other two females eggs too. We go into the coop and give her food and water and sometimes all three females are grouped together and they sleep with the broody at night.
I am happy to say I have been successful hatching my turkey eggs, I love the little chirpy sounds they make. I have about 8 turkey poults at the moment, one that looks different, I want to keep. This one looked almost black when it hatched. It has lightened up slightly but has very dark eyes and dark legs too. I guess it is a genetic mutation...I want to see what it will look like when it gets all of its feathers. Bad thing is happening with my female turkeys, they are laying eggs outside of the fence, one of them was injured and it looked like two possible dog bites, she had two holes in her side under her wing and has been on my porch for weeks, she is healing well, but still has a way to go. Another turkey hen laid a clutch of 15 eggs under the stairs of my shed, but she had dug a depression and we received five inches of rain before I found them...I thought it best to toss all of them. She has decided to lay elsewhere and I am worried she may get attacked by the dogs next door too.
I stay busy, cleaning, taking care of babies, broodies and house chores...and got my garden planted finely. The wild dewberries are ripening and I pick them when I have the chance, and picked my first blueberries yesterday. I have four grapevines that flowered this year so that is good...just 6 more to go! We had late freezes so I don't have much fruit on my trees, except maybe peaches...and I need to spray some Neem Oil or Dormant Oil on them.
I started my breeding pens...so, yeah just busy.
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