Too Much To Handle

 I don’t like death.  With the pandemic it just made things so much more depressing.  My brother passed away in October.  He tried an immunotherapy drug as a last ditch effort when chemotherapy stopped working and he went down hill fast after that.  He was in and out of the hospital several times prior to that.  I spent several weeks with him during his end days.  He was younger than me by five years.  Watching your baby brother die from brain cancer is tough.  It was the hardest thing I ever did.  I went to help him and to give his wife a break.  They care for their great-grandson Moe too, so I learned how to help Moe too.  Moe is severely disabled, but his smile brought me joy.  I haven’t had any more contact with Moe or my brothers wife.  I will just say things did not add up and I questioned them and ended up being deleted, it is alright, I just worry about Moe.  

I was trying to make another big batch of food for Moe, but things keep happening and I only have four cases made, and I am not sure that those jars are sealed well.  Canning lids are scarce, they have been since the pandemic really took hold.  I purchased reusable lids and have had issues with them sealing.  Between those lids and my freezer going out and both mini fridges now.  I have had a tough time keeping the food to make the jars of food for Moe.  I had planted a fall garden, but I spent so much time away from home, I wasn’t home to take care of it and got very little out of it.  I didn’t plant a garden in the spring this year either.  Between trying to get caught up, injuries and lots of rain, I never could till it.  Even now trying to get a fall garden going it has been hard.  I did finally get maybe a third of my garden tilled, but all I have planted so far is cucumbers and green beans.  I have tomato plants in pots on my porch I need to get into the ground, but while pounding t-posts I had a bit of an accident and hurt my right arm and shoulder.  

I forgot snowmageddon too.  Yep, we had a late deep freeze and 14-1/2 inches of snow here...temperatures got down to -4 degrees too.  I still have not figured out what is really dead out in my orchard.  It hit as my blueberries, peaches, pears, plums and apples were in full bloom.  I lost some young trees and it through the growing season off big time.  The only good crop I have had is plums from my oldest plum tree.  Only a handful of blueberries came on the bushes too.  I do have two trees with a decent amount of apples, but even the pear trees only have a few pears on them and one peach tree has two peaches.  I lost an Almond and at least two peach trees.  Lost all but two Chickasaw Plums that I transplanted, and one of them is half dead.  Grapes too...I only have two grapevines left out of 8.  Some fruit trees have growth coming up from the bottom, but since they were grafted, I don’t know what they might produce...if anything.  One good thing, my pecan trees look really good this year...lol, maybe they will start producing in the next year or two?

This past year was tough, but we got through it.